I'll Say
On days like this it’s small consolation that the Pack will always one day be Back. On days like this it’s hard to see the silver lining on the cloud, or the light that’s producing the shadow, or any of those other cliches that say that bad is actually good. It’s just horrible, and it doesn’t stop being horrible even though its technically “sports” and therefore not real. Having said that, let’s go through some things, shall we?
- I’ve become a firm believer that most football games are decided by 5 or so plays that could go either way — turnovers, holding calls on big gains, 3rd-down defensive stands, and their ilk. Last night’s game was decided by Rodgers’ interception, Favre’s ridiculous touchdown strike to that #18 Minnesota WR down the middle of the field, the bogus offsides/defensive holding calls that canceled out Woodson’s late interception in the end zone, and like 50 other Packer failures. But still, they had a chance to win at the end. I don’t know what that means, but I like it.
- Sure, Aaron Rodgers holds the ball too long much of the time; He’s still really, really good. The fact that his O-line is comprised of dudes who ate too many crayons when they were kids is the REAL problem. People say Rodgers is just a “stats” quarterback, that his stats don’t mean anything. Well, stats are stats for a reason, and that reason is that they mean something. Bad quarterbacks don’t put up any stats. If they protect this guy, they will succeed. Period. It’s funny that they went out and hired the worst offensive line they could find, then, eh? No, it isn’t funny at all.
- How can you really blame Ted Thompson for getting rid of Favre? No 40-year-olds in the history of mankind have ever played like the Mississippi Mauler did last night. He was sharp, confident, and able to make some amazing throws. He was, as always, a true pleasure to watch. Who could have anticipated this turn of events? Steroids? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
- As harassed and helpless as A-Rod was, Favre was that comfortable in the pocket. The Packers need to figure out this thing they call defense, since it is 45% of the game and all. As one of my friends said, on one play they appeared to drop 11 men into coverage. That doesn’t make sense. If this is what the 3-4 reaps, then let’s sow ourselves back to the 4-3 and kick Dom Capers and Kevin Greene to the curb. This isn’t Charlotte, for pete’s sake.
- In a world of decent punters, the Packers somehow ended up with an indecent one. He’s terrible. What were they thinking?
- I never thought I’d think this, but I can’t wait to get Atari Teenage Bigby back from injury.
- Why do the Packers have so many white linebackers, anyway? Because Kevin Greene was a white linebacker? It doesn’t make sense. Whither Nai’l Diggs?
- I don’t know what dance Jared Allen was trying to do after his 8 sacks yesterday, but he needs to remember what happened to Mark Gastineau when he started doing elaborate sack dances. One step away from being pummeled in boxing matches, that guy is.
- Donald Driver needs to start catching every ball that’s thrown to him. Also, he needs to not hug evil opposing quarterbacks at the ends of games. If Donald Driver doesn’t comply with our demands, we will take away his record. This isn’t a game. Well, it is, but it’s not that kind of game.
- Word to your mother, Vikings fans: We have seen this play before, and it’s a tragedy, not a comedy. Favre will not keep this up. This game will only encourage him to try more impossible throws. Stop, collaborate, and listen: you will fail.
- I thought Favre’s family wanted him to retire? They seemed pretty happy in their Tinkledome box. Traitor family.
- This is the kind of game that makes one irrational. I now have an irrational hatred of stupid horns, the state of Mississippi, bad offensive lineman, the state of Minnesota, and Monday Night Football.
- Jon Gruden wasn’t bad last night, and provided lots of colorful information about many of the game’s participants. He still looks insane, though. Does he drink 10 Red Bulls before the show starts?
- Frank Gifford is getting a bit old for this. I know, it’s mean to say, but he can’t even pull off being Frank Gifford anymore. Ok, that’s meaner to say. What I’m trying to say is that I’d like to never see him on TV again.
- I forgot how great it is to watch a game without the Fox Robot doing karate after every commercial.
- So Favre is nearly crying after the game in his interview with Michelle Tafoya, and yet he’s still trying to say all the right things. He’s a slick one, this devil. I’d give him credit for taking the high road, but then I remember — this is the Vikings, and there is no high road. He’s a sports traitor, plain and simple. I can’t wait until he starts regretting what he did, because you know he eventually will. It has to be eating at him that he turned his back on an entire state. This isn’t the WWE. There will be consequences.
- Adrian Peterson? The book is out on how to stop him now, apparently. Just study what the Packers did the last three quarters last night. I think it has to do with spare linebackers drawing taunting penalties.
