Let’s Talk Transportation

I’ve got a really great shot of a monkey giving me the finger, but my phone isn’t talking to my computer right now, so let’s talk transportation instead.  You’ve got a cross-country trip to make, so how are you going to get there?  Let’s go over your options:

1) Car.  Gas prices are high, and won’t ever be low again.  Even at 30-35 miles per gallon, you’re spending over a buck every 10 miles.  For a 1000-mile trip, you’re looking at over a hundred dollars!  On top of that, you have an increase in toll roads and construction everywhere you look.   We built all these great interstates, but we keep having to rebuild them because of all the cars.  Trips are long and expensive, and the only radio choices you have in Oklahoma are Rush Limbaugh reruns and country music.  Nobody likes those things.  Also, the car is highly susceptible to tornados, which are destroying more and more of our country every day.  Yes, it’s good to bask in the freedom of a road trip; these days it’s making less and less sense, however.  But how else are you going to get cross-country?

2)  Plane.  Remember when tickets were 100 bucks and you got a meal on a flight?  Those days are long gone.  They don’t even give out lame box lunches anymore.  All the passengers get are .5 ounces of pretzels, 3 ounces of soda, and patronizing condescension.  And now they’re adding fees everywhere you look — flight-change fees, anti-terrorism taxes, fatness fees, baggage checking charges, etc.  With the state of security the way it is — i.e., dehumanizing and slow — it’s almost as if forces have conspired to make flying as much of a hassle as possible.  All I want to do is get from one place to another.  Is that so wrong?  Why are the people responsible for my trip trying to avoid my business, then?  Why are prices going up and services going down?  Do higher fuel prices mean they have to treat people like cattle?  Wouldn’t they be trying to compete with the other airlines?  What happened to competition?

If the US government is going to be allowed to exist, they need to come up with a solution for us.  The real villain in all of this is our dependence on oil, so maybe teleportation is the answer.  I don’t know.  Maybe people will just end up moving back where their jobs or families are.  Maybe these hassles will turn us back into a more local society.  I just know that if I have to take my shoes off one more time and put them in a tub, I’m going to demand a soggy sandwich and a fruit cup.