1) Romopson is Dead! Not that we should know, or (especially) care, but Dallas Cowboys QB and noted Metal Skool aficionado Tony Romo has reportedly split with that girl Jessica Simpson. As a person who spends much of his time in Dallas, I feel uniquely qualified to declare this thing over. She’s too clingy, and he’s already married — to the idea of being a swashbuckling NFL quarterback who dates hundreds of beautiful women. He sees himself as a combination of Brett Favre and George Clooney, and as such has no time for nuptuals, only boinking. We should have known it was over when the engagement rumors started.
Poor Jessica. Why do I know this?
2) On to more great headlines from Fox News — “Little League Player Benched Because Mother Failed to Work Concession Stand.” “Louisiana Teen Accused of Spiking Teacher’s Drink with Bottle of Eye Drops.” “Family Sues School for $207 Million Saying Counselors Killed Teen.” I want to be the guy at Fox News who finds these stories and writes these headlines.
3) I’d like to send a personal note out to the creators and stars of Grey’s Anatomy, which is delaying my beloved LOST finale for one week so that we can find out if Officer McDreamy really does love one of the other ugly people on that show. At least that’s what I assume every episode is about. FACT: I wanna say that there are too many girls with TVs nowadays, but I’m afraid that would come off as sexist. FACT: This show is so bad, it’s making me sexist. (copyright Flight of the Conchords)
Sigh. If I was a believer in The Secret, I would totally be thinking about the cancellation of Grey’s Anatomy right now. Alas, it looks like I’ll have to wait an extra week to find out what happens to all the people on the island, and how the Oceanic Six get rescued. They’ve got 2 hours to get Hurley (at the Orchid), Jack (trying to find Hurley), Sayid, Kate (both trying to find Jack), Sun, and Aaron (on the freighter) into this shady deal with Widmore that gets them off the island. Sounds like a recipe for fun! Take that, McTeeny.
Flight of the Conchords is the BOMB-DIGGITY, YO!
“I like boom, you like boom…”