(Please notice that for this post’s title I’m using the words Prince intended to sing, rather than the words he actually ended up singing, which is “body over us” instead of “party over oops.” I don’t know why he sings this, but I think it’s weird that “misheard lyrics” aren’t called what they are, which is “mis-sung lyrics.”)
What if we had the tradition to bury everyone who died in a given year on New Year’s Eve? I don’t know where we’d keep them in the meantime, but what if we found a way to preserve their corpses until the end of the year, when National Graveyard Day would happen and the streets would be filled with grief? Would this make us better or worse as a people? In thinking about it for five more minutes, I’ve determined that it’s probably a terrible idea, because I don’t think our culture could handle something that poignant without spontaneously combusting.
You may have noticed that positive week is over. It was fun while it lasted, eh? You should have seen my brain straining to come up with positive things for you. The mental effort I exerted was astounding. I could have thrown the mountains into the see with the amount of brain-joules I produced. ANYWAY…
In a related question, how exactly does one bury a year? And how does one salt the earth so that the year in question can never produce anything again? Will singing Auld Lang Syne do it, or does it take more? Does anyone even know the words to Auld Lang Syne? We had a booklet of famous songs in our basement when I was growing up, and the words and music to Auld Lang Syne were included. Aside from “acquaintences be forgot and never bro’t to mind,” it written completely in some old (er, “auld”) English dialect that makes no sense. And why do we want to forget our acquaintences anyway? In most cases, acquaintences are the least of our problems.
I don’t know where I’m going with these questions. I guess what I’m trying to ensure is that 2010 is better than 2009. Because I can’t take another 2009. Please Jesus, help me out with this.
