This picture has nothing to do with this post.
Behold! A bulleted list of random-oid points regarding various movies I’ve seen and re-seen in the past couple months.
(Due to circumstances in my control but that I’ve having problems with, I am living with some saints (I hope they don’t feel bad when I call them that) who took up watching about one movie per night during the whole “December TV Rerun Month” through which we just suffered. I got to see a lot of last year’s big movies during these cold cold nights, over tea and popcorn and occasionally, squashsagna (needless to say, I’ve been looking for an excuse to use that word). So, because you demanded it, here’s another one of those amazing bulleted lists:)
-
I was reaffirmed in my previous ranking of the Lord of the Rings movies: Good – Return of the King, Better – Fellowship of the Ring, Best – The Two Towers. Return of the King is great, and has the payoff at the end, but it just lasts forevvvvver (I saw the four-hour extended version). It seemed like the Mount Doom scene would never come. I guess that’s what happens when you move the spider sequence to the third book. Fellowship is beautiful, and wonderful, but The Two Towers is perfect. From Gollum-Smeagol to Faramir to Helm’s Deep to the Uruk-Hai bomb to the throne room scene with Theodin and Gandalf to the end credits, it’s nothing but a barrell of middle-earth awesome.
-
Star Trek was pretty good. It loses something going from big screen to DVD, probably. It would have been fantastic to see in the theater. I usually hate the plots of Star Trek (especially First Borgtact or whatever), but this one was actually tolerable and coherent. I like how they approached the “reboot” – making it an actual one instead of just a reimaging. And “Run Fatboy Run” as Scotty? Inspired.
-
Speaking of Run Fatboy Run, it was funny and fluffy. I can’t believe Ross from “Friends” directed it. Thandie Newton is way out of his or even Hank Azaria’s league, though. That was distracting, like watching an episode of According to Jim, if Jim was British and not a fricking Bears fan. (ideally, a winking smiley would go here)
-
Prince Caspian was tolerable. Confession: I’ve never read any of the Narnia books save for the one with the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe in it. After watching Lord of the Rings, I see where Clives Staples Lewis got his ideas from. I liked the literary nature of the story, but why were the Mexicans in Narnia again? I’d still like to think of the story ending forever at the end of the first movie. Sorry, but that’s just me. I’d also like it if The Golden Compass had never been written, so maybe I’m just not into the genre of “White British Fantasy That Pretends To Be For Children But Is Actually Really Heavy.”
-
Speaking of that, I saw the Sixth Harry Potter movie. Dumbledore dumbledied. Oh, sorry…spoiler alert. Ahem. I’m still waiting for them to make “Harry Potter and the Carousel of Crap” into a movie. Which number book is that? I forget. I liked the “big mythological universe” aspect of the story, even if I roll my eyes at names like “Luna Lovegood.”
-
Julie and Julia was a bad movie and a good movie, respectively. I like how the film makes it look like anyone could get a blog at Salon.com just by signing up. The Julia Child parts were compelling, though, largely because of the real Ms. Child and Meryl Streep’s incredible acting. Make no mistake, though – the “Julie” parts were a total mess. The husband gets mad because she keeps calling him a “saint” on her blog? Then they have one fight, and he leaves? There seemed to be something missing, like any character development whatsoever. Anyway, see it if you like Meryl Streep. And another thing, it’s not funny.
-
I saw Food, Inc, and now refer to McDonalds as “Opression Burger.” But seriously, it was perhaps the most depressing movie ever. Big Food has taken over, and there is no escape right now. The problem? Food is yummy. They’ve got us right where they want us, and are using food’s inherent yummyness to oppress people all over the globe and make consumers ill before their time. All so they can make money. And stopping it would mean eating far less food. I gotta stop thinking about this. BUT THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT BIG FOOD WANTS.
-
Burn After Reading was an odd little Coen Brothers movie. I mean, it’s really cynical, and funny at times, but I still didn’t like it. Maybe the fate of the Brad Pitt character (the best one in the story, imo) soured me on it. It felt like Wild At Heart to me…a overly dark misstep from a great filmmaker.
-
Saw The Darjeeling Limited again. There was more nude Portmann than I remember. Anyway, it was quirky and funny, but too overly artistic and slow-moving for even me. It’s Wes Anderson’s worst movie, even with the Tarantino-esque “flashback that explains a bunch” towards the end. I still enjoyed it, because Wes Anderson could make a movie about anything and I’d enjoy it.
I’ve seen more stuff, but I don’t have any more bullet points in my gun. Maybe later. I’m off to Oppression Burger to make myself ill while exploiting several different working classes.
